Happy Rickday To You
by SlavetoMyself55
Summary: Morty didn't want much for his birthday. He just wanted a normal day with his family and some general recognition. But sometimes not everything turns out as planned...especially when one is related to Rick Sanchez.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, my lovelies! So excited to finally post this! Started writing this in the beginning of season 2 of Rick and Morty and finally found the time to finish it recently. Thus, the time period for this story takes place between season 1 and season 2. Rick and Morty is one of my favorite sci-fi cartoon shows and I've had this story flitting around in my head for a while. Disclaimer: I do not own Rick and Morty for that wonderful pleasure goes to Justin Roiland and Dan Harmon. **

**Enjoy reading! :) **

"Morty, down this way!"

Morty Smith yelped as his grandfather yanked him into an abandoned alley. His lungs burned as they continued to run. He began to wonder how he got into this position. Scratch that. How he ALWAYS got into these positions. No matter how hard he tried, it seemed fate led him to this outcome on their adventures _every single damn time_; running away from either an intergalactic gang of flesh eating aliens or from the law itself. This time it happened to be both.

Sirens wailed behind them mixed with the thunderous noise of gurgling screeches. Morty bit down on his lip as he ran faster, not daring to glance back. How could it have gone so wrong? This morning he was feeling rather confident on how today was going to go for him. It was going to be a perfectly normal birthday, and nothing was going to ruin it.

His grandfather, Rick Sanchez, was the unfortunate exception to this rule.

It was horrible enough that he was taken on highly dangerous and mentally scarring adventures by his drunken genius of a dickhead grandfather every day, but the fact that he had not taken into account that today would be another one of those days was laughable at this point. What in the hell was he thinking when he agreed to go to this dimension? Did he really hope that Rick _actually _had a birthday surprise for him? Morty had scolded himself profusely at his gullibility.

What surprised him was that he hadn't seen Rick the majority of today, which he reluctantly admitted was a little discouraging. He though Rick would have at least cared that he was turning another year older today, but it seemed not. His parents and sister celebrated with him that morning, making a special breakfast for him and acting less apathetic for a change. It lifted his spirits to see this and even school wasn't as horrible as it usually was. He was on time for his classes, had felt more awake than normal, and didn't run into any problems that Rick usually set up for him. In fact, it felt downright odd to him. He was so used to the abnormal that it quickly became his normal and had accepted that for a good year. It was rare for any normal days to happen at all.

He spent the rest of his birthday with his family, sans Rick, and found himself enjoying a nice simple cake as his sister texted nonstop on her phone and his parents argued over something trivial like any other day. Yup. Definitely a normal day for him, which he was fine with, but he could feel that strange itchiness in the back of his head that happened whenever he hadn't seen Rick in a while; and that usually meant trouble. He ignored it.

After opening his gifts, which were mostly comprised of items he wasn't too crazy about—like his father's lucky nine iron club—he thanked his parents and especially his sister, Summer, for barely managing to break off a fight beginning to swell between his parents about the gifts. ("Really, Jerry? You got our son a _golf club_?" "What? It's better than your lame ass sweater idea. I think I'd know what our son would want, Beth.")

When the itch continued to bug him, he gave up and decided to ask his family if they knew where Rick was, but the separate responses weren't helpful.

"Morty, sweetie, I'm sure dad went to go get you something special for your birthday. He'll be back soon… at least I hope he will be."

"Son, let's just be glad that Rick isn't here to ruin this day for all of us, because god knows we'd all be horrifically sewn together ass to mouth by now like that human cockroach movie."

"Grandpa Rick is most likely drunk out of his mind right now in a dimension filled with sexually repressed women."

He hated the fact that Summer's answer was the most logical. He forced himself to accept this answer so that he wouldn't be surprised and hurt if that really was what was going on with Rick. He wouldn't put it pass his grandpa to do something like that.

As it turns out, hours later when Morty was ready to retire for the night, Rick hadn't been doing any of those things. Morty jumped when the sound of a portal opening rippled through the air inside his bedroom.

"W-what the hell? Rick?" Morty questioned in shock as Rick entered his room.

"Yeah, no sh-IIGGH-t, M-Morty," Rick belched, "Now shut up and get in the portal." He gestured to the open portal, the swirling green mass glowing hauntingly in Morty's eyes.

Morty sat back on his bed, crossing his arms and defiantly glaring at Rick. The brilliant scientist hadn't shown his face all day and now—of all times—he wants to take him somewhere in the universe without so much as a happy birthday? Anger bubbled inside him at this.

"Y-Ya know something, Rick? I-I-I-I'm not going anywhere with you, you…you inconsiderate jackass!" Morty's glare deepened and his fists clenched as he continued, "I mean—I mean jeez, Rick! You don't, I mean, I don't see you all day a-a-and y-you just… show up out of nowhere and expect me to—to go with you i-into that portal? Well you can just forget it, Rick! Not this time!"

The only response he received from his outburst was the predictable rolling of the eyes and frustrated noise from his grandfather. This furthered his anger.

"L-Listen, Morty, i-if you don't w-AAUGH-n't to receive your dumb birthday surprise, then, by all means, stay here for another—BELCH!—for another lame birthday. But don't say I didn't do you any favors, ya little shit!" Rick glowered, a finger jabbed in his direction.

Morty's glare melted to one of astonishment at Rick's words, anger gone for a moment.

"Birthday surprise?" Morty asked quietly.

Rick raised one side of his eyebrow. "Uh, yeah, duh, Morty. W-w-what did you _think _I was doing all day today? Entertaining Jerry with my absence?" He took out his flask, unscrewing it, "I don't even wanna know what gift that moron blessed you with." He took a swig out of it, a pool of saliva already gathering on his chin.

Morty thought back to the golf club before discarding it, looking at Rick almost shamefully. He was out all day preparing his birthday surprise? The thought warmed him greatly. He knew he had school tomorrow but didn't want to disappoint Rick. Eh, what the hell? He smiled.

"O-okay, Rick. I'll come with. It's, ya know, really cool that—that you'd do something like this for me. I—"

"Yeah, yeah, c'mon, Morty, l-EEGHH-t's just go already, alright?" Rick interrupted sounding miffed. His tone had Morty hesitating for a second before deciding to trust his eccentric relative on this.

Morty followed Rick into the portal, experiencing the familiar feel of stepping through a thin wall of gelatin—the sucking sensation applying a small amount of pressure on his body before releasing completely when he stepped out on the other side. The first thing that caught his eye were the many flashing lights shining dazzlingly around him. His mouth fell into an 'o' shape as he took in their surroundings.

The first thought that came to him was Blips and Chitz, the colossal arcade they used to visit, but this place was a lot smaller and more personal. The other major difference was that there were no arcade games, but a lot of what looked like gambling tables and slot machines were scattered about. He spotted a few bars here and there filled with drunken creatures shouting. Squinting, he could make out a dance floor near the back that seemed to be getting the most attention as the mosh pit continued to grow.

There were many crazy looking aliens here this night as they pulled levers, threw small round objects as if they were dice, and jubilantly conversed with one another at the bars. Morty was glad he didn't smell any kind of cigarette smoke floating around, but he was aware of a few aliens smoking unidentified drugs.

"W-Wow, Rick," Morty breathed out, "Is this some sort of casino?"

"Ah, ah, Morty," Rick said, a grin growing on his face, "Not just some sort of casino. This is THE casino, Morty. The best one in the galaxy. Basically, Morty, what you're looking at right—right here, Morty, is the o-OOGH-rigin of gambling. The best kind, too, before it all went to shit." He clapped his hand on Morty's shoulder. "Plus, some of the best drinks in the universe are served here."

Morty was impressed by the information from Rick, but then he became confused. Gambling and drinking? Was that all there was to do here? He was fifteen! What was Rick thinking bringing him here? Was he not aware of his age?

"R-Rick!" Morty nearly shouted, turning to glare at him, "I-I-I'm not old enough to—!"

Rick suddenly clutched his shoulders and shook him slightly. "But that's the best part a-about it, Morty! Here at Gurdenko Casino, _there is no age limit! _They literally. Do not. Give a fuck! Y-y-you can drink and gamble to your heart's desire, Morty!"

Though Morty was glad that he didn't have to worry about the fact that he was underage here, this did little to encourage him. He had never done any of those things in his life and he wasn't sure if he wanted to start here on his fifteenth birthday. It didn't seem that Rick cared, however, when he started making his way to the bar closest to them, urging Morty to follow him.

"B-But, Rick!" Morty called after him as he bumped into a few figures, getting some slime on him in the process. He snatched on the tail end of Rick's lab coat to stay with him. When they arrived, Rick casually leaned up against the counter and held up two fingers, ordering his drinks. Almost immediately, two glasses were placed in front of him. He ordered Morty to sit on the stool next to him and Morty wordlessly sat just as Rick passed him one of the drinks.

The teenager eyed the drink suspiciously, not liking the way it was bubbling like that. The glass was bulbous shaped and rather tall, filled to the brim with a bright orange substance, slightly frothy at the top like beer, but bubbling. Colorful sea green marbles gathered at the bottom of the drink, seeming to be dissolving slowly. It looked a lot like a tropical drink, which he reluctantly admitted looked rather delicious. Giving it a sniff, he recoiled in surprise at the sweet aroma it gave off. He was used to the bitter smells of the stiff drinks Rick always had in his flask, but this… this was totally different.

It smelt like a bouquet of fruit flowers… was this even an alcoholic drink? It must be. Rick ordered himself one. He wasn't sure if he'd ever even _seen_ Rick drink anything nonalcoholic before… Still, Morty wasn't too adamant on drinking alcohol no matter how good it looked and smelled. Alcohol was alcohol in any shape or form. Pushing it away slightly from him, he turned to Rick once more.

"Rick, d-did you just take me to gamble and drink? I'm—I'm not so sure about this…"

He wasn't expecting Rick to become so exasperated at this. He let out a loud noise of frustration and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Jesus, M-Morty! W-w-w-why do you always gotta qu-EEGGH-stion the-the-these so called un—unethical situations, huh? I-I-I mean, shit! Live a little! You're only young for so long, Morty! You-you think it's gunna get better than this? W-well, here's hearing it straight outta the horse's shit infested m-OOUGH-th, Morty. It doesn't. So relax for once in your goddamn life and drink up," Rick spat out, ending his rant by taking his drink and downing it.

Morty was at a loss for words as he watched his eldest relative chug down his drink. He wasn't sure how to respond to what he just heard. He had felt apprehensive at first, but now all that was left was a hollow sadness. Who he was sad for, himself or Rick, he didn't know. He realized in that moment that questioning any of these things was futile at this point. He eyed his drink once more before taking it in his hands and letting out a defeated sigh.

He sipped timidly to soak in the taste. It was a lot better than he imagined it would be. It was sweet; almost too sweet, but the slight tanginess of it sparked the flavor to his favor. He hummed in delight before diving in again, taking bigger sips than before and nearly drinking it like water. The exotic fruity taste was exhilarating and before he knew it, he had reached the nearly dissolved marbles at the bottom. He heard a good-hearted chuckle beside him.

"Let me guess… sweet and sugary, right?" Rick crossed his arms with a knowing smirk.

"A-A… huh?" Morty questioned distractedly before looking down at the empty glass in his hands. "O-oh. Uh… y-yeah, Rick. It is. Why? Is it… is it not supposed to be? I-I can, ya know, I can hardly taste any alcohol in this."

"Yeah, th-AAGH-t's the beauty of these babies here, Morty," Rick burped out, "Shink-A-Dinks a-a-are very popular to those from different galaxies. There's more alcohol in that thing than you think, M-Morty. You just can't—BURP!—taste it. The flavor varies for whoever is drinking it. And since you don't drink, I-I figured your preferred taste would be closer to a bowl of fruit loops."

Morty couldn't hide his amazement. "That's—that's amazing, Rick! So what flavor is yours?"

"Let's just say that it's a better brand of whatever's in here," Rick said, brandishing his flask.

Morty nodded and mentally checked himself. He felt fine. Other than the warm pleasant purring in his stomach and the slight burning of his cheeks, his functionality was in working order. Licking his lips, he found that he was still a bit thirsty, getting the feeling that the Shink-A-Dink had something to do with it. He turned just in time to see Rick put two more fingers up. He secretly hoped it was the same drink. God, he was thirsty.

To his disappointment, a completely different mixture was served to them. This one looked a lot less appealing due to its muggy brown texture. To him, it looked like a cup of mud. He grimaced.

"Uh, h-hey, Rick. Maybe I should, I don't know, t-take it easy for a bit on the drinking for now," Morty piped up as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Rick rolled his eyes. "Right, sure, and maybe I should drop every characteristic of mine to be a proper grandpa. Qu-IIGGH-t being a pussy, Morty, and drink it. Just be thankful I'm not letting you drink a Pan Galactic Garble Blaster."

"A-A what?" Morty questioned, still not wanting to drink that sludge.

"Pan Galactic Garble Blaster," Rick stated dryly, slurping down his drink noisily, "That shit reeeaally f-UUGH-cks you up, Morty. Said to be the best in the universe, but after taking a few of those the novelty starts to wear thin."

Morty eventually took a small sip of his drink after Rick nonstop ranted about how denying an alcoholic beverage was an extreme insult to these people and that they'd beat him up for it. He was going to call out on Rick's bullshit but decided not to tempt the fates. It was bitter, but it wasn't too bad. The dirtiness appearance deceived how it would taste, which he found to be better than beer. He continued to take tentative sips when Rick's voice alerted him.

"Ooohhh, shit, dawg! Splanex! Get your sorry punk ass over here!"

Morty looked to see Rick waving over a rather large looking alien. That very familiar feel of anxiety made itself known when he caught sight of the large tusks jutting out from the alien's lower lip, making the horns on the top of its head look diminutive. It wore a charming black blazer that barely covered its protrusive pig belly. Its small ruby glinted eyes darted to Rick, and Morty heard it rumble with laughter, barging through scowling figures to get to them. One of the odd things Morty noticed about this guy was that it looked like it was wearing a sleeked back toupee between two of its larger horns. Was that…was that even necessary?

Morty steeled himself when the alien jutted its stomach between him and Rick, clapping a clawed hand to his grandfather's back firmly.

"Rick! You sick twisted sonuvabitch! What in Garbin's name are you doing here?" As expected, the voice booming out of Splanex's mouth was deep and guttural.

"Ahh ha h-AAGGH! W-Well, you know me, Splanex, just livin' life one Pan Galactic Garble Blaster at a time. Eh, yo! G-G-Give me a-and my good buddy one here, will ya?" Rick called out to the bartender.

Splanex let out a boisterous bark of laughter. "Now that's the Rick Sanchez I remember!"

A moment later, two Pan Galactic Garble Blasters slid over into Rick's hands. The glasses were slightly taller than an average shot glass. The liquid was a purplish-blue color that swirled nicely together, and it looked like someone had sprinkled in a jar of glitter into the mixture. It was slightly mesmerizing to Morty, almost like looking into the heart of a galaxy. Rick passed the other drink to Splanex and together they held their glasses up.

"To the Clackspire Labyrinth! For without it, we would have never met!" Splanex toasted.

Morty nearly choked when he mentioned the Clackspire Labyrinth. He and Rick had "visited" just last month after the time police had shown up to arrest them for abusing time once more. He had foolishly allowed Rick to convince him to become rich only so they could prove his father wrong that having a job is the only way to get where you want to in life. He should have known the easy way to things would have dire consequences. He was lucky enough to get out of the labyrinth alive with the help of Rick seeing as how he built the thing in the first place. I mean, for god's sake, the entire name was an anagram for 'Rick's Place'. Hearing Splanex admit that he and Rick had been there together instantly made him nervous (who knows what that alien has done?) and a bit surprised. He had no idea Rick had been imprisoned there more than once.

"To freedom and getting shit faced on a Tuesday! Let's do this, muthafucka!"

As soon as Rick belched out his last words, the two clinked glasses and Rick immediately downed nearly the entire glass casually, seeming to have no reaction to the drink. Morty really believed that Rick had taken one too many of these before. Splanex tipped his head back and threw the drink into the back of his throat, shivering in response. Morty didn't even wanna know how someone like himself would react to swallowing this stuff.

Rick let out a loud burp before wiping the residue from his mouth with a laugh. "Now that's what I'm talking about!"

Morty squirmed underneath the gaze of Splanex as the beast suddenly noticed there was another person among them. He pointed a clawed finger at him. "Rick, what am I looking at here? A side experiment you're working on?"

Rick's eyes swiveled to take in the sight of Morty and he grinned as if seeing him there for the first time that night. Morty gave a sound of discomfort as Rick threw his arm around his shoulders and drew him in close enough to where the boy could smell the stench of alcohol on the old man's breath. His body swayed in time with Ricks; perhaps that drink did more to him than he let on…

"Thi-this is my grandson, Splanex. M-Morty. But-but don't be fooled by his dumb looks," Rick ignored the glower from Morty, "He's proven to be a really good h-EEGGH-lper to my work and..."

Rick's eyes widened suddenly. "Holy shit! He's turning another year older today! Morty!" Morty's head rocked back and forth as Rick shook him. "W-w-w-w-we gotta celebrate this, Morty! I-I-It's a big day for you, M-OOGH-rty!"

"Rick, I thought that's why we were here in the first pla—"

"H-here, Morty! Have—URP!—Have some of this!" Rick interrupted as he pried Morty's mouth open and threw the rest of his Pan Galactic Garble Blaster into it.

**Oh, shit, looks like Morty's going on a trip. Thought I'd thrown in a couple of other references such as Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the first comic of Rick and Morty (Clackspire Labyrinth). Next chapter will be up soon! Had a lot of fun writing for these two! :D Until next time! *POOF!* **

**Mr. Meeseeks: I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me! **

**Mr. Meeseeks: Hi, Mr. Meeseeks! I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!**

**Mr. Meeseeks: Hi!**

**Mr. Meeseeks: Can you help me get to strokes off of Jerry's golf swing?**

**Mr. Meeseeks: Ooh! Can dooo! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Behold! Chapter 2! Enjoy! :) Previously: **

_Rick's eyes widened suddenly. "Holy shit! He's turning another year older today! Morty!" Morty's head rocked back and forth as Rick shook him. "W-w-w-w-we gotta celebrate this, Morty! I-I-It's a big day for you, M-OOGH-rty!"_

_"Rick, I thought that's why we were here in the first pla—"_

_"H-here, Morty! Have—URP!—Have some of this!" Rick interrupted as he pried Morty's mouth open and threw the rest of his Pan Galactic Garble Blaster into it._

* * *

Morty instinctively tried to spit it out, but the damage had been done. He couldn't remember the taste. The actual sensation of the drink was so overwhelming that it overrode most of his senses. His eyes tuned out the other way as his brain felt like it was being smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a gold brick. His jaw went slack, and his limbs stopped working as the intergalactic drink took effect.

He couldn't feel anything for what felt like an eternity; no pain, no pleasure, only a numbing sensation as if Novocain had been injected intravenously. And then it happened. A tingling sensation showered down upon him that made him start to shudder violently. This happened for a moment longer before it came to a stop. Before he could even get a single thought in, a rush of what he could only describe as soft feathers began to caress his insides, tickling a bit and causing him to giggle.

An incredible warmth encumbered him like a toasty Pillsbury Doughboy, and he let out a sigh of happiness. He was afraid for a moment that it would leave just like everything else, but to his delight it continued to stay. It was one of the most pleasurable feelings he's ever experienced. His eyelids fluttered before they fully opened. His vision swam as he witnessed multiple copies of Rick and Splanex blinking down at him.

"Morty?" The many voices of Rick called out and he barely felt his shoulder being grabbed.

Splanex resisted rolling his eyes as he watched Rick try to reach out to his drunk induced grandson. Honestly, he'd think that a carbon-based life form would be able to handle a tiny bit of alcohol, but it seemed this Morty character has set the bar at an all-time low. Sighing, he decided to patiently wait for this idiotic situation to end.

Frowning, Rick leaned back from the mess that was Morty and took in the slightly vacant expression on his face. Morty blinked lethargically, his unfocused eyes dilated. Then his grandson let out a dopey grin that disturbed the scientist to an uncomfortable degree. Rick didn't think twice as he retracted his arm and whipped it forward, slapping Morty across the face harshly.

Morty's head snapped to the side and the rest of his momentum caught up with him. He tumbled off the stool he had been sitting in and crumpled to the floor slightly moaning in pain. Rick didn't even flinch as he watched the teen fall to the ground. Rick opened his mouth to begin smart mouthing the figure on the floor when a clawed hand placed itself on his shoulder. He turned to stare at Splanex, who had cleared his throat.

"Allow me."

The alien picked Morty up by the scruff of his neck until he was suspended a foot off the ground. An elongated tube snaked out of one of the folds of Splanex's massive belly and hovered directly in front of Morty's face. Morty's eyes sparkled in amazement and curiosity, letting out an, "Ooh!" before spluttering and coughing as clear pink liquid shot out of the end of the thick tube and into his face. Groaning, he was let down back onto his feet where he leaned against the bar counter, a hand to his slightly throbbing head.

Rick's lips drooped in surprise by Splanex's actions and then he let out a laugh.

"Oh my god, S-Splanex! I-I-I forgot you could do that! Damn, dude," he chortled, "W-W-Why don't we take this p-AAARGH-rty t-to the dance floor, am I right!"

Splanex agreed and led the way to the back. Morty had just gotten rid of the slight pounding in his head when he felt a bony hand grip onto his arm and forcibly drag him away. A string of unintelligent protests left his mouth but all he got in response was, "C'mon, Morty! Q-Quit dragging your feet and let's go dance, bitch!"

Morty stumbled along in a daze. Not knowing what was going on or who these unfamiliar faces were didn't bother him as much as it would have if his mind was in its right place. The lights began to dim as they moved further along. A new fluorescent light presented itself and Morty's breath caught in his throat by how beautiful it was. Various colors shone around him in a miraculous display of entertainment he had never seen before.

Rick felt a tug on his arm that halted his movements. Turning, he saw Morty frozen in place and gawking endlessly at the fresh environment they stepped in. Looking around, Rick rolled his eyes when he realized his grandson was only marveling at the neon lights blatantly standing out under the black lights. If the kid was any more sober, he would have dismissed the common Earth party decoration. He swiftly pulled on Morty's arm with a frown.

"Morty, you idiot! The-the dance floor's this way! Let's go!"

His words fell on deaf ears when the son of Jerry gave a horrified gasp, his eyes practically bulging out of his skull as he pointed at Rick shakily.

"R-Rick! Y-y-y-you're teeth! They-they're-they're—!"

"Glowing? God damn it, Morty, you're not fucking high. Not yet, at least. Besides, y-EEUGH-ou think that's impressive? Y-You ain't seen nothing yet, dawg!"

Smirking, Rick forced Morty to continue until they were at the outer edge of the mosh pit. The music was blasting inconsistent patterns but somehow forming a beat the aliens could dance to. Splanex came up to them holding a couple more drinks and Rick immediately grabbed them with a cheer as he handed one to Morty.

Morty, still under the influence of the Gargle Blaster, fumbled before grabbing the drink with a slightly shaky hand. Rick clinked his glass against his with a broadening grin and drank the whole thing. Morty looked at his grandfather curiously and looked down at the drink in his hand. Blinking, he swallowed the whole drink, imitating the elder. He coughed, shuddering at the burning sensation traveling down his stomach.

Rick laughed and patted the boy on the back, incidentally forcing him to choke a bit more. The music suddenly changed songs and Rick's eyes widened with a large smile.

"Awww shiiiit! This is my song! Let's daaaance!" At that, the old man began moving his body, swinging his hips and shaking his ass. He didn't notice, but Splanex had slipped away from them to disappear into the crowd leaving only him and Morty. Rick continued to dance as his grandson awkwardly tried to keep up with him. The teen spun around and in his slightly dazed state noticed that Rick had vanished. Panicking, he whipped his head around to look for him.

When he caught sight of a white lab coat, he released a sigh of relief as Rick came out of the crowd and teetered over to him with a grin.

"Heeey, Mooortyyyy! I-I got—got you something, buddy!" Rick sang as he handed Morty a very familiar drink.

Morty eyed the drink hungrily and gratefully took it, loving the fruity taste slither down his throat in contrast to the horrible acidic burn from earlier. In only a few minutes, he had downed the drink and took notice of the nice bubbly sensation spreading through him. His eyes fluttered with enjoyment as his arms and legs relaxed completely. Morty couldn't remember feeling this way for a long time, completely stress free and no anxieties to bother him. It felt amazing.

He looked over to see Rick dancing among the mosh pit freely, not caring one bit that he was bumping into people. He looked to be in his own little world, and Morty had a strong urge to join him. Grinning, the birthday boy grabbed another Shink-A-Dink and did just that. Together the two of them moved to the music, laughing and making loud noises to further annoy surrounding aliens; and for once, Morty didn't give a FUCK.

The night dragged on like that. Morty not giving two shits about anything and Rick continuing to not give two shits. Just Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty crowd surfing through the mosh pit. Rick and Morty eating delicious intergalactic pizza. Rick and Morty winning money at the slot machines only to lose it all at a game of blackjack. Rick and Morty pissing gamblers off by miraculously kicking their asses in various games similar to poker, rummy, and craps. Rick and Morty spinning the wheel and nearly losing everything in BlarBlar Roulette.

Morty felt like he was having an out of body experience. He watched himself deal cards, throw dice, and tip the drink back repeatedly. Deal, throw, tip. Repeat. It was almost second nature at this point. Though Morty was under the influence and wasn't quite controlling most of his actions, he knew one thing was for sure: He was having fun. A lot of fun. More fun than he can ever remember having. He couldn't help but smile fondly up at the geriatric man taunting his challenger on the opposite end. Rick really knew how to throw him one hell of a birthday surprise.

"M-Morty! Morty!" Rick slurred out as he held a closed fist up to Morty's mouth. Morty went cross eyed for a moment and nearly fell over when his vision went more haywire than it already was. He steadied himself against the table in front of him.

"D-do me the honors, daaawg!" Rick asked, a twinkle in his eyes.

Morty felt more than honored as he puffed up his cheeks and messily blew into his grandfather's fist. Rick brought his hand back, reeled back a bit, and then smoothly flung the red multisided dice across the table until it hit the other side and rolled towards them. Morty's breath hitched just like it always did when seeing those dice rolling. When the dice stopped to show the same weird squiggly lines Morty wasn't accustomed to, a series of groans emitted from the aliens as his grandfather whooped in victory.

"Fuck yeah! F-F-OOGH-rty-two, bitches! N-Now that's what I c-AAAGH-ll the l-luck of the grandson! U-Up top, Morty!"

Morty clumsily high fived Rick with a laugh. He had no idea how these games worked, but Rick seemed to have a pretty firm grasp on it. Rick wrapped his arms around his winning chips (which looked more like mancala marbles) and dragged them over to their side. Then he grabbed the dice, wrapped an arm around Morty, and belched out, "Alright, wh-OOGH's next!?"

"That would be me."

Rick and Morty swiveled their heads clumsily to see someone they had plum near forgotten about the entire night. The massive figure of Splanex pushed his way to the front of the insulted crowd, giving both of them a smug and challenging smile, ruby eyes flashing. Morty blinked a few times, taking a few seconds to try and remember who this guy was. Rick, on the other hand, feigned a gasp and jabbed his pointed elbow into Morty's arm.

"Uh-oh, Morty! L-Looks like we got ourselves a-a friend's competition g-goin' on here! Well, briiing it on, shitface!"

Morty laughed, not exactly recognizing who they were challenging yet. "I-I don't know, Rick, I don't think this guy has balls _big _enough f-for a game like this," he slurred cockily.

"OH HOOO! Morty comin' in hot! Y-ya get it, Splanex? He-he's callin' you out on your—urp!—on your balls being dis-disproportionate from the-the rest of you." He gestured to all of Splanex with a toothy grin.

Splanex kept his composure, giving the two a knowing look as if their heads were glued together and they had no idea about it. The tusked alien stepped up to the table and the game most like craps, meaning a certain pair of squiggly lines was both good and bad.

Splanex reached into his pocket and grabbed a pair of dice, making sure that no one saw. With a quick move of professional prestidigitation, he reached over to swap that pair of dice with another pair of identical looking dice as he went to take his own set of dice to roll. Luckily, nobody saw the switch as the drunken pair before them only continued to jeer and laugh over their stupid jokes. Splanex gestured for them to take a pair. Rick smirked and snatched the ones left on the board by the alien. Splanex hid his grin.

The grandfather/son duo rolled first, and Rick gave out a victory shout with their excellent roll. As the game went on, the aliens were shocked by how lucky the duo were becoming while Splanex used the original dice. He was the magician of this game and he had everyone fooled, especially the two drunken idiots playing against him. The loud noises those two were making were drawing an even bigger crowd as many began to abandon their own game to watch theirs.

Though he was losing horribly, Splanex felt like he was on top of the world, but he wasn't going to let them know that. Not until he was ready, and by the progress this was going it wasn't going to be very long. He would grunt in frustration at his rolls and continually eye Rick and Morty with their dice suspiciously. He would inwardly grin when the other aliens began eyeing the two with the same suspicion.

"Forty-two!" Morty and Rick shouted at the same time with their last roll, not once questioning their luck, merely leaving it as it is and claiming their win.

"AWW YEEAHH, THAT'S GAME B-IIIGH-TCH!" Rick bellowed out, high fiving Morty and going to gather their chips.

"Hold on," Splanex firmly stated, giving the two a hard look.

Rick rested his elbow on Morty's shoulder and grinned cheekily at his friend.

"Aw, what-what's the matter, Splanex? Ca-can't stand losing to an old man and a kid? Well, I hate to break w-whatever the equivalent of your balls is but—"

"Let me see your dice." His rough, deep voice cut across the table.

The pair paused. Morty's gut did that weird squirming sensation whenever trouble was bound to appear, and he realized the alcohol in his system must be wearing off if he was already feeling this kind of anxiety. Rick rolled his eyes beside him and tossed the alien the dice.

"S-sure, fine, a souvenir for your loss."

Splanex caught the dice swiftly in his hand and examined them closely. Rick nudged Morty with his shoulder and jerked his head behind them as a gesture for them to cash out their winnings. He didn't want to waste time with whatever Splanex was going on about. Morty hesitated but seemed to agree on not staying to look into the deep red eyes of their opponent.

"N-now if you don't mind, we'll be—"

"These are rigged."

**DUN-DUN! Sorry for such a short chapter, but hopefully this small cliffhanger will keep you tuned in to what will happen next! See ya! *gets sucked into a vacuum* **

**Testicle Monster: Yeah, well, I don't know where you expect me to think you got that time crystal over there, but the only way yo dumb ass, assin' ass asses could ever have one is if it was stolen. **

**Summer: *at Rick* You stole a time freezing crystal from testicle monsters?**

**Rick: I would have been happy to pay for it, _Summer_, but they don't exactly sell them at Costco. Besides, there's a larger lesson to be learned here. Get him! **

**Testicle Monster:*cocks gun* Ut tut tut! You'd better keep back! Man, this will turn your ass into a third trimester fetus from thirty yards! **


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm back! Here's chapter 3 for ya! Enjoy! :) **

** Previously...**

_"N-now if you don't mind, we'll be—"_

_"These are rigged."_

* * *

Rick froze in his tracks just as the aliens around them gasped in surprise. The geriatric drunk spun around with narrowed eyes.

"What?" He snarled.

"You've been cheating all night with these dice," Splanex stated firmly, his fist clenched tightly around the pair of multi-sided dice.

"Bull. Shit," Rick spat, "W-why don't you prove it, dick muncher?"

"Gladly," Splanex immediately responded, his lips upturning into a malicious grin.

With that said, he dropped the dice and it once more landed what Morty was used to seeing a million times that night. Those squiggly lines that represented the number forty-two continued to appear as Splanex rolled it five more times. The aliens surrounding them started from angry murmuring to outright hissing and spitting at Rick and Morty.

"Rigged," Splanex snapped at the pair viciously, playing his part perfectly.

Rick's moment of shock disintegrated into downright fury as his livid gaze bore across at Splanex. His teeth grit as he growled out, "You motherfucker."

The aliens surrounding them closed in, ready to pounce and tear them apart from performing such devious acts, but Splanex managed to step in from behind and roughly guide them away from the crowd as he called out, "No need to, folks, I'll make sure their transgressions are paid fully."

Morty then noticed at least three police officers and two security guards marching towards them with guns and handcuffs. "Rick," Morty whined out in fear as he grasped onto the sleeve of Rick. He didn't want to go to jail. Oh, Jesus, please, he REALLY didn't want to go to jail. Especially if it was any place like what he and Rick went to before. Morty's gut clenched. All that alcohol that was in him before was now starting to really make itself known as it bubbled near his esophagus.

Splanex took this opportunity to bend down and whisper sadistically into Rick's ear, "Hope you enjoy another stay at the Clackspire Labyrinth because after what you did to me, I'll make sure you _NEVER _escape from that hellhole."

Rick's hardened gaze didn't react at the sound of this information. He nonchalantly replied in his most stoic voice, "You only need to betray me once to understand the severity of your actions, Splanex."

In a flash, Rick shot his hand out behind him and into the belly fold of Splanex. The latter spluttered and halted as Rick took out the hidden tube from within and swiftly tied it into a knot tighter than Morty's anal cavity before he began smuggling Megaseeds. Splanex choked and Morty watched in shock as the alien's face began to turn different shades of colors from the lack of air. He fell to his knees and desperately began to try and undo the knot.

Rick took this distraction to their advantage and yelled, "Run, Morty!" before hauling his grandson towards the exit. Morty squealed as he tore after his grandpa, hearing the protesting noises from the authorities and the hoard of angry aliens. Thunderous footsteps sounded behind them as they began to take chase.

Morty ducked his head down as a few shots flew past him, breathing harshly from the adrenaline. Alcohol be damned because he had never felt soberer in his life. He briefly wondered why Rick hadn't used his portal gun yet but was then reminded that their enemy was too close to escape that way; any one of them could jump in after them.

Morty gasped when two officers blocked the doors to the exit, guns raised towards them. Rick's brow furrowed lower on his head in response, but he did not slow down as he reached into his lab coat and drew out his own gun. The two did their best to weave in and out of the shots as Rick took careful aim and shot them both down. They leaped over the figures (Morty stumbling) and into the frigid night air. Rick tugged his grandson to the left and they hastily made their way down the crowded street.

Cold sweat clung to the teen. How could such a great night completely one eighty as quickly as it did? Whatever was in his system was refusing him the right to feel angry, and, goddammit, he _knew _he should be furious at the moment. Towards who or what he wasn't sure, but there was no doubt in his mind that Rick was probably at the top of that list along with the fat ass alien that ratted them out. As of now, however, Morty couldn't feel much of anything other than utter fear for his life and vomit inducing sickness bubbling in his gut from all the drinking he did. These two did not mix well and as soon as he was sure he was going to ralph right there and then his grandfather spoke up:

"Morty, down this way!"

Which led them to their current predicament; hiding from the law behind a couple of rancid garbage bins deep inside an alleyway. It was with that foul scent that had Morty spewing out his insides, retching onto the grimy floor next to them. Rick had either ignored him or had not taken notice because the next thing he felt was an arm shoving his chest until he was back pressed against the wall. Rick was in the same position beside him and held a finger to his lips, not once looking Morty's way.

Morty flinched at the sound of thundering footsteps closing in until they were nearly on top of them, sirens and gurgling shrieks sounding too loud for the boy's comfort. Rick ducked both their heads lower and they waited as the horrible noises began to subside, traveling farther down the street. When they couldn't hear them anymore, Rick's hand went for the portal gun in his coat and pulled it out.

Morty calmed his breathing from the anticipation and shakily began to stand. Rick followed, and it wasn't until the teen felt the old man's grip on his shoulder that a bubbling fury presented itself deep in Morty's gut. He wrenched his shoulder away from him and glared as coldly as he could at the lanky scientist. Rick took notice.

There it was again. That goddamn motherfucking eye roll of his that made Morty want to tear his hair out and scream. His clenched his shaking fists tightly, on the brink of losing control.

"Oh, w-what? You mad at me?" It was said so mockingly that a snap went off in Morty.

"YES, I'M FUCKING MAD AT YOU!" He screamed, a vein bulging from his temple.

Rick paused in slight surprise before continuing, "Look, c-calm down, Morty. Tonight just had a small hitch in it."

"A hitch? A hitch!?" Morty growled loudly, his temper increasing, "You had us play with _rigged _dice, Rick! Y-Y-You shouldn't have—"

"—played with a pair of dice that was so obviously swapped out with a pair that Splanex owned? I-Is that what you were going to say?"

Morty's anger simmered a tad through his confusion. "Huh?"

Rick pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration and Morty glowered at once again being insulted for not understanding something. "God, are you fucking kidding me, Morty? W-Why did you think we were kicking his ass so badly? That son of a bitch set us up, Morty! That bastard was drunk off revenge!"

Though Morty knew his grandfather had a valid point in who to blame for tonight's events, he was still hell bent in letting out his frustration on him, wanting to call him out on something, anything.

"Y-Yeah, well, maybe he wouldn't have done that i-i-if you hadn't wronged him in the first place, Rick!"

Rick let out a bark of sarcastic laughter. "Okay, alright, I-I get it. Everything is my fault now, is it?"

"It is!" Morty didn't hesitate with that answer. "Y-you're the one who brought us here in the first place!" His teeth grit in anger, brows furrowing and ears steaming at the geriatric before him.

Rick didn't say anything for a few seconds. He finally folded his arms and gazed down at his grandson with narrowed eyes, lips curling in a sneer.

"You're right. I did fuck up."

Morty's expression untwisted a smidge at the sudden confession. Rick thrust a finger at him.

"I shouldn't have dragged your ass here and instead left you to celebrate your birthday alone in your room jerking off like the pathetic sorry soul you are."

Rick's tone was so icy and sincere that it almost brought the boy to tears, but instead he lashed out with whatever anger he could still feel in that moment.

"Screw you, Rick! I would have rather spent tonight alone than spend another living second with your drunk ass!"

Morty stumbled at the shove Rick gave him and looked up to see Rick glowering at him.

"_Oh, that makes me so relieved to hear, Morty!_" Rick bit out scathingly, "I bet you didn't know this, but I actually hadn't a clue that your birthday was today! I-In fact, I only found out about five minutes before I made the mistake to try and bring you to this shithole!"

Morty blanched at what he had just heard. His jaw dropped slightly in shock and that white-hot fury he was feeling before zipped up in his chest faster than lightning. His eyes glossed over, and he couldn't stop trembling. He clenched his hands in his hair, eye twitching.

"I-I-I-I should've known! I should've known y-you weren't planning anything for me today! I don't even—I-I don't even know why I expect a-a-anything from—from you anymore!" Morty took a bold step towards his grandfather, tears glistening. Rick didn't move. "Y-you know, Rick, I-I only have one birthday wish a-and I've finally figured out what it is."

"You wish you weren't such an insignificant pussy?" Rick retorted off the bat.

Morty ignored him and glared darkly up at him, pausing at what he was about to say but knowing that he had to say it because he had never felt the need to say something so badly in his life.

"_I wish you weren't my grandfather._"

Morty kept the tears at bay, not daring to show the man he hated so much at the moment how much it hurt to say those words. Rick said nothing, his mouth pulling into a thin line. He was still glaring, but Morty thought he could see a flicker of pain flash in his eyes. It was so brief, however, that Morty felt like he had only imagined it.

After nearly a minute of silence (Morty starting to fidget from the extensive silence), Rick finally opened his mouth, his glare beginning to border on indifference.

"You wanna know why I don't celebrate birthdays?" Rick pulled out his portal gun and Morty's eyes widened. His heart sped, and he froze in fear. Shit. Shit. Shit. _Shit. _He'd forgotten all about the portal gun. He almost wanted to smack himself in the face for his mistake. He had just insulted the guy who was his only ticket off this planet.

_How could he be so __**stupid**__? _

When Morty didn't say anything, Rick continued, still handling the portal gun. "They're pointless. Meaningless. You turn another year older. So what? L-life goes on. It doesn't change, it doesn't stop, it keeps going. W-Why the fuck would _anyone _want to celebrate the fact that they're another year closer to death? Aging is an inevitable factor on our planet, and it's pretty goddamn r-IIGH-diculous that people need to feel obligated to give gifts and throw parties and shit."

Rick took a step closer to Morty, leaning ominously over him. Morty didn't dare move.

"What, you think you're the only one, Morty? You think you're the only person I've forgotten a birthday on?" He laughed dryly at this and sharply jabbed a finger in Morty's chest. "Fuck. You. I don't remember _anyone's _birthday. Not Summer, not Birdperson, not my daughter, and especially not _me_. As far as I know, I could be ninety-five fucking years old, Morty. Do you honestly think I-I give a shit about age? Here's a hint. I DON'T."

Morty shrank under Rick's powerful gaze. His confidence shrank with every word that came out of his lips, his chest clenching and unclenching as if debating how to feel about this.

"The—the fact that I actually _tried _to celebrate your stupid birthday tonight is something I haven't done for ANYONE in over thirty years." Morty's heart stalled at this.

"So, you want a different grandfather?"

Morty nearly dropped the portal gun that was just tossed at him. He fumbled with it for a moment before tilting his head to look up at Rick in utter surprise, his anger completely dispersed.

"Then go look for one yourself. I'm taking a cab."

Rick's emotionless voice echoed through Morty's head as he watched the only person who truly cared about him deep down turn on his heel and start out the alley. The teen's feet and mouth wouldn't work, they felt glued in place. Only his eyes functioned as Rick's form grew smaller, becoming a silhouette in the dark alley as he neared the entrance. It was as if a mousetrap set off inside Morty's head and he finally understood what was happening.

_W-Wait! Don't—don't leave me! Rick! _

His foot moved first and then his other. Soon his legs were lifting, and his first steps turned into heavy footfalls as he ran towards his grandfather, tears slipping down his cheeks.

"R-RICK! RICK, WAIT!"

He desperately hoped that Rick hadn't heard him and wasn't just ignoring him. He watched as Rick finally strolled out of the alley and turned left, disappearing from view. Morty bit his lip and pumped his arms faster to catch up. He held the portal gun tightly in his right hand as he huffed.

There was no warning.

Morty screeched in pain as something struck his right shoulder. The burning sensation enveloped his shoulder as he collapsed on the ground, the portal gun skidding a few feet away from him. Morty moaned and clutched his right shoulder. Blood gushed from the open hole and onto his hand, splattering the floor. Morty dizzily lifted his head and saw a big burly figure walking towards him. The figure was holding something in its hand and the shadows began to lift off it.

It was holding a laser gun.

Morty bit back a whimper at the sight of the typical gun nearly all aliens carried. He scrambled back, clenching down on his lip hard from the searing pain on his shoulder. He looked up to see deadly red eyes peering down on him. His breath hitched as Splanex walking out of the shadows, a guttural laugh bubbling out of him.

The alien stopped just a few feet short of him and growled lowly, "Where is he?"

Morty trembled in fear, wide eyes flickering between the tusked face and the gun.

"I SAID WHERE!?" Splanex roared.

"I-I-I-I-I don't know!" Morty squeaked out, hating how pathetic he sounded. He knew the alien was talking about Rick, and even though keeping Rick's whereabouts a secret was the right thing to do, it didn't matter much since he honestly hadn't a clue where he could be. Though he wished that he was there with him.

Splanex stooped down and roughly pulled Morty up by the shirt of his collar, spitting in his face as he yelled, "Do not lie to me, human! I know he was just here, so you tell me where he is now or I'll kill you on the spot!"

Morty yelped in pain from his shoulder being jostled around, blood spurting everywhere. He started to become light headed from the blood loss, and he barely registered being dropped to the ground once more. An agonized shout came from the giant alien before him and he blearily looked to see that Splanex had dropped to his knees with a hole in his side, hissing in pain.

There were footsteps coming off from the right of him and he saw a pair of familiar shoes. His gaze shifted up to see his grandfather looking absolutely livid with his shoulders hunched, and gun trained on Splanex.

"_**Keep your fucking hands off of him.**_"

**Oh, damn, Rick's pissed. Wonder how this is gunna go down? Next chapter will be up soon! *melts through floor* **

**Rick: Pterodactyl! **

***Zeep drops object* Zeep: Asshole! When I get out of this Teenyverse, I'm gunna smash it to pieces with you in it! **

**Rick: Yeah, well, when I get out of this Teenyverse, I'm gunna get out of the surrounding Miniverse and then the Microverrse around that, and guess what? **

**Morty: Don't make things worse, Rick! Uh, he's not gunna destroy your universe! You know, we-we need it to start our car! **

**Zeep: That's what you use my universe for? To run your car?**

**Rick: Yeah, but don't flatter yourself! There's always AAA, you fucking cocksucker! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the next chapter! Enjoy! :) Previously...**

_There were footsteps coming off from the right of him and he saw a pair of familiar shoes. His gaze shifted up to see his grandfather looking absolutely livid with his shoulders hunched, and gun trained on Splanex._

_"**Keep your fucking hands off of him.**"_

* * *

Rick's voice shook with fury. Splanex's eyes shifted to furiously lock onto Rick's.

"If I… can't kill you… physically, Rick… then I'll… destroy you… emotionally," Splanex wheezed out in a still threatening deep voice.

"You wish, bitch," Rick deadpanned before pulling the trigger.

Click.

Rick's face faltered, and he hissed out, "Shit!" as he made to reload.

Splanex took that opportunity to wildly grab for his gun, aiming at Morty. Rick, seeing this coming and abandoning his plan to reload his gun, threw himself onto Splanex's arm. The two wrestled for control of the gun, jerking and twisting this way and that. Morty looked on in horror, blinking away the darkness surrounding his vision as his worry for Rick spiked up a hundred degrees.

Grunts and growls emitted from the two as they tousled, but Splanex was much bigger than Rick and used that to his advantage. With a mighty swing of his arm, he flung Rick to the ground. The latter winced at the impact and saw Splanex aim once more at his grandson. His eyes widened in absolute bone rattling fear and in an instant focused on nothing else but of stopping that shot.

"NO!" He screamed and desperately launched his body onto the gun.

There was the sound of a laser going off and Morty felt his heart stop.

Rick's eyes bulged in surprise before he felt himself start to go limp. He slid off the barrel of the gun and sickeningly plopped onto the ground with a hole in his chest. His head swam, and he barely heard his grandson screaming his name.

Splanex looked down at the curled-up figure with a smirk and pulled the trigger of his gun experimentally. It clicked and he discarded it without care. He let out a menacing chortle at the sight of Rick. His clawed hands fisted into the lab coat and lifted him with a sneer. Rick grunted from the pain.

"Should've known than to screw with me, Rick. You thought that you could live forever, did you? Thought you could get away with anything you wanted to, eh? Well, even all bastards like you have to die someday, and when you're in Hell you be sure to let them know who killed y—"

Splanex never got to finish his sentence because for him to do that, his head would have needed to be connected to his body. In a violent explosion, Splanex's head popped into a thousand pieces, deep purple blood spraying out. His body stilled for moment before falling off to the side, looking like a beached whale carcass.

Morty panted as he bore his deadly gaze onto the remains of Splanex. It was a complete mystery what had just happened. All he could remember was seeing red after hearing Splanex speak, and the next thing he knew he was loading Rick's discarded gun—muscle memory kicking into gear from when he'd had to reload it for Rick before—and firing. His hold on the gun, he found to his utter surprise, was firm and steady. Morty dropped the gun, finding it hard to believe what he'd just done out of instinct. He looked over to see the still form of Rick and he felt a pit drop from his chest into his stomach.

"Rick!"

His own injury forgotten, Morty slid next to Rick and turned him over onto his back. Rick coughed wetly and moaned, instinctively holding a hand over his wound. Morty could see that it was dead center in the middle of his chest cavity. The teen tried not to hyperventilate, his anxiety building up on him quickly as he helplessly stared at his grandfather.

"Nngh…M-Morty," Rick grunted out, expression pinched in pain.

"Hold on, Rick! I-I-I'm gunna get you to a hospital!"

Morty wildly looked around for the portal gun when a hand gripped onto his arm tightly. He glanced down at Rick in shock. Rick stared directly back at him, lids trying not to droop heavily over his eyes as he slowly shook his head.

"No…no point…" he said breathlessly before taking another shuddering breath in as his body grew taut from the pain once more, "Y-You can barely remember…our planet's o-own coordinates…" The laugh that escaped him was too faint to even be considering a laugh.

Tears prickled at the corner of Morty's eyes. His grandpa wasn't wrong. Even with the portal gun, Morty would only get them lost and Rick was in no condition to be giving him the lengthy information he needed. He just wished an Earth's hospital had the same technology that an intergalactic hospital did. His hands shook as he clutched onto Rick's blood-stained coat, struggling to say anything.

"Go home, Morty."

Morty's head snapped up to look at Rick in terror, disbelief masking his features.

Rick's hand vaguely gestured at his still bleeding shoulder. "G-Get that…get that sh-shoulder fixed up be…before you bleed out al-alright, buddy?"

Morty could see Rick's eyes focusing in and out for a moment, that spark of light in his irises beginning to dim. It shook Morty to the core.

"R-Rick," he choked out, tears cascading down his cheeks.

"Y-You're a good kid, you—you know that, M-Morty?" Rick coughed out, blood speckling out of his mouth. "I-I'm…I'm real proud of you…Morty. You…you put up with my shit when…w-when no one else did…"

His tears continued to flow, Morty clinging onto every sound his grandpa made as if it were a fresh breath of air for him. He couldn't say anything, his lips frozen in absolute fear. This couldn't be happening. _This couldn't be happening. _THIS COULD NOT BE HAPPENING.

Rick suddenly let out a short bark of laughter, coughing from the exertion. "S-Sorry if this seems like…like a dick thing to say but…happy birthday, kiddo."

Morty let out a dry sob, holding Rick close as he cursed everything that had happened this day. He wanted Rick to jump up from where he was and starting shouting, cursing, and burping at him nonstop. He wanted the old man to start cracking up at the fact that Morty fell for the ole' dying trick even if it meant his grandson wouldn't talk to him for a week. He just wanted everything to go back to normal.

His heart sped at the sight of Rick's eyelids beginning to fall dangerously over his eyes. His rattling breaths became slower and slower. Rick began mumbling to himself now in a low whisper, but Morty caught every word.

"Rick and Morty…one hundred years…Rick and Morty…adventures…ww…w…dot…Rick and…Rick and…" His eyes shut and his grip on Morty's arm went slack as his head lolled to the side, his final breath leaving him.

Morty's heart went still in his chest. He couldn't register anything in that moment. Not the ground, not the air, not the buildings, not even himself. Everything felt surreal in that moment. Nothing was real. It was all meaningless. This planet was meaningless. Aliens were meaningless. His family was meaningless. He was meaningless. _Rick was meaningless. _

Rick…

Morty felt something in him for the hundredth time that night. Rage. Pure blinding rage. He let out a long scream of anguish and began to shake the still body beneath him violently.

"FUCK YOU, RICK! YOU THINK YOU CAN DIE OUT ON ME, WELL, YOU'RE WRONG, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I'M NOT GIVING UP ON YOU, Y-Y-Y-Y-YOU HEAR ME!?"

Breathing deeply, Morty didn't waste a moment's time as his hand dove into his grandfather's lab coat and pulled out the intergalactic space phone he always carried. His hands had stopped shaking, determination empowering his entire body. Rick may have been right about him not knowing how to properly use the portal gun, but there was still one thing he didn't count on Morty knowing.

In just a few seconds, Morty dialed the one number he knew who could help.

"Hello, Birdperson? I-It's Rick! He's-h-he's dying, and I-I need you to—!"

Morty couldn't remember the words that came out of his mouth next. He had unexpectedly blacked out, his body slamming into the floor. He thought he heard Birdperson's deep voice before he was completely submerged into unconsciousness.

* * *

Chirping was the first thing he heard as his brain began to register consciousness. Morty Smith struggled to open his eyes. He's been in a lot of rough shit before, in fact, he's pretty sure he's been in worse situations than in the one he's currently in, but never in his life has his eyelids felt as heavy as they did now. He felt as if he'd been hit with an elephant tranquilizer.

SLAP!

Or with the open palm of a rough hand.

"Wake the fuck up, Morty!" A gruff and all too familiar voice bit out harshly.

A small moan managed to escape his lips from the stinging on his cheek as his vision began to slowly unblur. The grey, white, and blue blob morphed into the image of his grandfather glaring heatedly at him through his one thick eyebrow.

Suddenly, Morty's memory burst as last night's events flashed through his mind at the speed of light. He remembered everything. The gambling, the drinking, the betrayal, the chase, those villainous red eyes—_everything_. His grandfather's dying voice rang through his ears and now it wasn't dying but very much alive and well. Morty simply couldn't believe it.

"Rick!" Morty cried out as he sat up quickly before falling back as his right shoulder gave a very painful throb. He clutched it and hissed. He noticed that it was bandaged, and his arm was in a sling.

Rick watched him with an unimpressed stare. He folded his arms across his chest; a chest that wasn't bandaged up or looked in any way like it was harming him. Morty was surprised to see that there didn't seem to be a scratch on him. If it weren't for the injury on his shoulder, he might have believed that the entire outing at Gurdenko Casino never happened.

"R-Rick, what—how did—?"

"You done?" Rick interrupted scornfully. "Because if you are then I'd like to get the fuck outta here if your—BELCH—if your prepubescent voice is done asking useless questions."

Morty blinked. Here? Where the fuck was _here_? He looked around to see that he was inside a hut made of twigs, grass, and other miscellaneous plants. Warmth radiated inside the room they were in and it created a relaxed and comfortable temperature. Lighted candles and incense oils had the room smelling like herbs and sandalwood. He was lying on a soft cot made from feathers; he relished the feel of them beneath his fingers.

"W-Where…where are we, Rick?" Morty questioned thickly.

Rick opened his mouth, but another voice came out instead. It was low and monotone.

"Morty. You are awake."

Rick rolled his eyes as another figure walked in to stand next to Morty's bedside. It was Birdperson. He was carrying a glass of water and a bowl with a spoon in it.

"B…Birdp-person?" Morty rasped out, leaning his body forward a bit more.

Said bird creature gave him the water and Morty drank it gratefully. Birdperson lay a comforting hand on his arm, his feathers gently caressing his skin as he did. He gestured around them. "You are inside our Healing Hut. It helps my people rejuvenate at a much quicker rate."

"Yeah, cool," Rick said disinterestedly, "L-Let's go, Morty, before Birdperson makes you eat that shit he calls food." He pointed to the bowl Birdperson was still holding.

Morty seemed to agree, remembering the last time he was here that Birdperson fed him random debris in his carpet. However, he stopped trying to get up and fixed a suspicious gaze at Rick. Too many questions were rolling around in his head to just let be.

"Rick," he said, "what happened? H-how long have I been out?"

His grandfather let out an annoyed sigh of frustration. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Not that any of this matters, Morty, but your ass is lucky that I am _always _prepared. O-Otherwise I probably w-OOGH-uldn't even be here."

Morty wanted to argue that if it wasn't for him calling Birdperson, then Rick would most likely be antagonizing some demons from Hell instead. He also wanted to argue against Rick's so-called claim of always being prepared—knowing that if that were true then their adventures wouldn't end up being half as distressing—but held his tongue for the sake of his own self-worth.

"I always keep clones of myself in places of refuge. W-Why do you think there's more Ricks than Mortys in the multiverse? Jesus, Morty, use your head if you're even thinking of wasting my time with that mouth of yours. Now _let's. Go,_" Rick spat in that tone that told Morty he was done with the conversation. Rick pulled out his portal gun to fiddle with it.

Morty frowned. He knew Rick. He wasn't getting anymore information any time soon. The best he was going to get was that Rick's mind was transferred into a clone, which would explain how he looked so healthy now and not like he was just shot in the chest. Sighing despondently, he figured it was best if he just let it be. Like Rick always said, "don't think about it".

He sat up slowly and tried standing on his feet. His legs felt like jelly and they began to give out. He yelped but Birdperson held him up with a firm arm…wing…thing. He nodded in thanks to Birdperson.

"Morty, you have been bedridden for one Earth week. You are subjected to weakness in your limbs and will need to walk for them to function once more," Birdperson said in his flat voice.

Morty's head snapped up to Rick who was glaring at Birdperson. He caught Morty's eye and quickly looked back down at his portal gun, typing down their coordinates more aggressively. Morty felt perplexed. A week? They'd been there for _an entire week_? But, why? Morty may not be the brightest, but he wasn't a fool. He knew that putting Rick's mind into a clone of himself didn't take a week. In fact, he was willing to bet it took less than a day for that process to finish since Rick was nearly on the cusp of death prior.

It was strange. Morty knew Rick well enough to say that he was not a patient man. Rick wouldn't have hesitated to wake up Morty as soon as he was well to get them off Bird World. So then…why didn't he? Morty's brows furrowed. It couldn't possibly have been because of hi—

"Whatever John Candy fart you're having in your brain can wait, Morty," Rick belched out as he shot a portal from the gun that lead to home. "Get in the damn portal."

Morty glared at him but didn't rebel as he turned to say goodbye to Birdperson and walked through the portal.

Rick hesitated and then addressed Birdperson, "Thanks again, BP, and not a fucking word to Morty, got it?"

Birdperson nodded with a small smile. "You have my word, Rick. May the stars protect your travels."

Rick grunted with a roll of his eyes and disappeared through the portal. To his surprise, Morty was waiting for him on the other side inside the garage. They stared at one another for a moment before Morty tore his gaze away and scuffed his foot on the floor. Rick stowed his portal gun back into his lab coat.

"I, uh, t-thanks, Rick. It was…fun." Morty winced at how unconvincing his words sounded. There was some truth behind his words. He didn't have fun until he let loose by drinking and gambling with Rick. He hadn't felt that stress free in a long time, and he didn't regret any of it with Rick. It was just…why did every adventure have to end so fucked up where one of them nearly dies? Why did they end up so scarring? Just _why_? It was maddening, and Morty just wished they could both come out satisfied and content from their adventures every time.

Rick scoffed with crossed arms and looked away from Morty. "Whatever. Big waste of time if you ask me."

Morty forced himself to believe that Rick hadn't really meant that. He watched the old man walk over to his workbench and plop down in his chair to begin working on multiple gadgets. Morty wasn't sure what to do for a moment as he stood there awkwardly. Then Rick's voice cut through the thick silence.

"Anything _else _you feel the need to say before I chuck your stupid ass out of my lab?"

His voice was cold and bitter, no warmth in it that Morty could hear. The teen sighed lowly, his sad gaze focused on the floor as he pushed the water back into his eyes.

"No," he muttered and without another word, left the garage.

**Just one more chapter to go! It's so hard to write for Rick since he's such an unpredictable character depending on the situation, but I've always loved episodes where he shows how much he loves Morty through self-sacrificing gestures (even when he later denies it). I think it's why "A Rick in Time" is my favorite season 2 episode. Stay tuned for the last chapter! *violently explodes* **

**Toxic Rick: Morty, not that I give a shit or anything, but are you okay? **

**Toxic Morty: Jesus Christ, it hurts! **

**Toxic Rick: Relax, quit your bitching. You-you're gunna be fine. Grandpa's here. **

**BONUS! **

**Groin System 6000: Assessing threat to groin. **

**Toxic Rick: Groin System 6000, kill him! **

**Groin System 6000: *looks at Healthy Rick* That...is my groin's user. **

**Toxic Rick: Believe me, I got a lot more use out of that thing than he ever did. **

**Groin System 6000: You know what? Not my table. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Last chapter! Enjoy! :) Previously...**

_"Anything else you feel the need to say before I chuck your stupid ass out of my lab?"_

_His voice was cold and bitter, no warmth in it that Morty could hear. The teen sighed lowly, his sad gaze focused on the floor as he pushed the water back into his eyes._

_"No," he muttered and without another word, left the garage._

* * *

Rick continued to absentmindedly play with an object before letting out a frustrated groan. He rubbed his face roughly and cradled his head in his hands, a painful expression etched onto his face. His fingers clenched into his wild hair.

"_Fuck_," he cursed under his breath. He couldn't help it. For what seemed like the millionth time in a week, his mind flashed to that unpleasant memory refusing to leave him alone since he took Morty out for his birthday.

"_I wish you weren't my grandfather." _

That had HURT. Far too much.

Goddammit, _why? _Why the fuck did that affect him so heavily? Like he really gave a shit about what Morty thought of him. Like he really cared if Morty looked up to him or not. That kid was a neurotic mess whose brainwaves were so opposite from his that they literally worked as a camouflage for him to be untraceable from other Ricks. He was a moron. A wimp. A complete tool and total loser.

His grandson was _nothing _like him.

And yet…

Every time the old man saw Morty adapting to their adventures and experiencing new traumas that were slowly eating away at his sanity, he couldn't help but see himself inside that kid. It was worse than getting shot two hundred times in his chest. And he knew, he fucking KNEW that was why he treated Morty so horribly. Every time he saw Morty say or do something that only a Rick would do, he'd make sure to put his grandson back in place; say awful rotten things to him to make sure that he never made a mistake like that again.

But the mistakes kept coming. They came at least once an adventure now and each one was more Rick in nature than the last. This last adventure was a particularly hard one to swallow. Rick couldn't decide which was worse, Morty's boldness at standing up to him or Morty killing Splanex. Both created a bad taste in Rick's mouth at the thought.

He could take the sass. Morty had always been a whiny bitch in the past, but for some _goddamn reason_, the words he'd chosen to spit at Rick that night had cut a deep layer into the scientist. Rick had made sure to quickly tell Morty off, even made him feel guilty, but there was no denying that Rick had taken several hits from his grandson as well. It doesn't happen. It wasn't SUPPOSED to happen. But it did. And Rick _loathed _it with a passion. It was the reason why Rick almost didn't go back for Morty. He heard his scream loud and clear in the alleyway that night _and almost kept walking_. He was so furious in that moment that he ultimately decided to take that fury out on whoever was about to kill Morty just to get it out of his system.

It worked in the most peculiar fashion. He assumed his anger would leave once he killed or tortured whoever was hurting Morty but was astonished when his anger left to rather instead be replaced with _fear_. Rick didn't DO fear. He rarely felt it, and when he did it was usually because he didn't have much control of the situation, something that didn't happen often. That fear had caused him to sacrifice himself to save his grandson. It was something that, in hindsight, was an incredibly stupid idea now that he thought about it. If he was thinking rationally that night, he would have found a better way to stop Splanex from shooting Morty and saved him the trouble of being shot.

Rick growled while at his work desk and pulled out his flask to take a long swig from it. He didn't bother wiping the drool from his mouth as he stared into space.

Then came the issue of the death of Splanex. Rick must have replayed that memory in his head again and again, and every time he came up blank as to how it happened. He didn't remember much when he was shot other than Morty's voice crying out from above him. It was all a blur. Rick squeezed his eyes shut with gritted teeth. He remembered Morty crying. No surprise there. Morty was always fucking crying. Still, nothing else jogged his memory.

He didn't find out what happened to Splanex until after he was fixed up by Birdperson. He had asked his best friend a lot of questions when he woke up and had demanded details of the event. When Birdperson mentioned Splanex's dead corpse on the ground next to his gun, he pieced two and two together with a wrinkled frown. He figured that Morty didn't kill out of defense since Splanex no longer had an active weapon, but instead chose to kill most likely out of revenge. It didn't bother him that Morty killed Splanex. In fact, he'd seen Morty kill aliens before plenty of times. Rick was glad that motherfucker was dead. What truly bothered him, however, was that Morty killed him without hesitation and _all on his own_.

When Rick had went back to examine the scene after hearing about Splanex, he felt torn. Torn between feeling angry and impressed. Morty had never, ever killed someone on his own accord. Rick was always the one to either put them in a situation that forced Morty to kill in defense or told Morty to kill for "the sake of humanity" or some bullshit like that. Morty hated it but did it anyway because the kid had the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair and would rather not argue the matter with his grandfather. Rick remembered kicking Splanex's corpse in anger at the realization of what Morty had done.

It was just such a…a _Rick _thing to do that it made his stomach churn in discomfort. Fear wasn't uncommon for Rick. Yes, it was rare, but it did happen; and he had felt a twinge of it when he gazed down at Splanex dead on the floor. It was the fear that Morty really _was _becoming more like him. It downright infuriated him to have to feel that fear.

He swore he wouldn't let it happen. He refused to let it happen. But it seemed that the more he tried to stop it, the more Morty fought it. Rick knew that it was pointless to try and put an end to it. If he truly wanted Morty to become better than him then he would have left a long time ago. He would have cut the adventures and stayed out of his family's way. It was so easy to do—and it wasn't as if he hadn't done it before with his daughter—but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. It was almost inexplainable. It was something that not even the most intelligent being in the multiverse had an answer to. So Rick chose the easier route of not thinking about it, choosing instead to delve back into his bad habits.

Rick hated himself more than anything or anyone else in the multiverse. He hated how toxic he is to his family, he hated being old, he hated his terrible decision-making behavior, and he hated his cowardice when it came to attempted suicides. If there was ONE person he didn't want his grandson to end up like it was no contest that it was him.

Rick took a long swig from his flask and savored the tangy bitter taste of it as it slithered down his throat. It wasn't nearly as good as the ones they served at Gurdenko, but Rick had never been one to get picky with whatever alcohol he could get. As he took another long drink, he heard the garage door open behind him and a soft voice spoke.

"Dad? Everything ok?"

Rick didn't turn around as Beth stepped into the garage, a crease forming between her brows.

"I just saw Morty with his arm in a sling. Something go wrong? You two were nearly gone for a week. Did you want to—?"

"Beth," Rick interjected and turned towards her, "nothing's wrong, sweetie. Morty just had a bit of an accident is all. It was a… surprise. For his, y-ya know, dumb birthday or whatever." He took another swig in an act of nonchalance.

Beth looked surprised for a moment but then her face softened, and her lips curved into a small smile. "Thank you, dad. That was, well, really sweet of you. Morty didn't exactly have the best birthday…"

Rick only shrugged in response and took another gulp of alcohol. He _really _didn't want to be conversing this with his daughter right now. Luckily, this happened to be a moment where Beth was good at reading his nonverbal cues of wanting to be alone.

"Glad you're both okay. Goodnight, dad," she said.

Rick grunted in response and heard her shut the door.

His head fell onto his work desk with a groan. That week. That one _fucking _long ass week. He would never, EVER admit to Morty the real reason why he stalled so long in waking up his grandson. He wasn't proud to admit it, but he was _nervous _at the thought of waking up Morty not too long after he was all good to go. He had too many questions and too many thoughts jumbled up inside his mind when he woke up. He didn't dare think of having Morty see him like this.

So…he didn't.

Instead, Rick made the decision of keeping Morty in a temporary time stasis field despite Birdperson's feeble protests. (It was the reason why Morty's wound never fully healed.) He wasn't sure how long he was going to keep Morty asleep but knew that it would be for however long it would take for him to get his head back on straight. His grandson in the past had been subjected to worst conditions so he couldn't find himself giving two shits at that moment. He didn't care if Morty was there for an entire year if it meant avoiding any unnecessary questioning from the idiot.

The whole investigation process didn't last long. Not even thirty-six hours. The rest of the week was spent slowly internalizing the outcome of the adventure over many, _many _drinks. He went to at least thirty-two different dimensions in seventeen different universes getting smashed out of his fucking mind. Many mistakes were made during this process but none that an extremely high functioning alcoholic couldn't wiggle his way out of.

Rick groggily shifted his head so that his cheek was pressed up against the table. He was furious at Morty, he remembered. He had ranted nonstop to Birdperson about it after four days of going out and getting shitfaced. He had come back stumbling into the medical center, waving a beer around as he shouted himself hoarse. Birdperson sat and listened without saying a word, just like he always fucking does. His best friend had watched as Rick screamed down at his unconscious grandson, spit flying drunkenly from his mouth.

When Rick had finished (only because he was out of breath), Birdperson had jumped in with a few words of his own.

"_Rick, do you think that Morty would have done differently had it been anyone else?" _

Rick hadn't answered him as he sunk down on a chair and chugged the rest of his beer with glazed eyes. It was a rhetorical question, after all.

A couple days later he woke Morty up.

With another groan, Rick peeled his cheek from his work desk and frowned at the dartboard on the wall across from him. With a loud guttural sound in the back of his throat, he spat a loogy at the center of the dartboard. Immediately, the dartboard folded inward and revealed a large compartment of liquor. He reached out and grabbed a few with the intent of drinking the night away.

* * *

It took Morty a while to fall asleep due to all the unanswered questions from him and Rick's most recent adventure. He felt as if he had only just closed his eyes when he was being roughly shaken awake. Light flooded his vision and he shielded his eyes with his hand. Rick's blurred outline finally came into view as the brightness adjusted. He swayed above him.

"Mmm-OORGH-ty. Hey. Heeeyyy, Morty, b-buddy."

Morty saw a drunken smile spread onto Rick's face, a large amount of drool and alcohol gathering on his chin. The boy simply glared at him and pulled the covers up over himself. He turned over away from his grandfather. He just _wanted to go to bed, dammit. _

Rick frowned at this and sat on the edge of the bed beside him. "A-Aww, c'mo—c'mon, M-Morty. Don't—don't be like that." He clumsily curled a hand onto the boy's shoulder and tried to turn him around but Morty remained firm in his position. He kept his exhausted eyes open and glaring at the wall in defiance. Rick's frown deepened.

The silence stretched and Morty didn't realize he'd been holding his breath until the weight from his bed lifted. He remained glowering at the wall in front of him, determined to not give Rick the satisfaction of paying him any attention. He heard feet stumbling and a grumbled curse.

"Fine. B-be like that, yaah-yah little-ya little—"

There was a thump and Morty knew his grandfather had just fallen to the floor, most likely passed out from the heavy drinking. The boy sighed and sat up to turn off the lights when he heard shuffling from the end of his bed. A wrinkled hand shot up and scrambled to grasp onto the bed before Rick hoisted his drunk body from the floor. Morty stared as Rick swayed for a moment. He was shot a pointed glare as Rick tore himself from the bed to stagger towards the door whilst mumbling to himself.

"D-don't need anything from—from _you_, ya liiittle, li-little turd. Don't neeed you tah—belch—tah be _me_, of all people. I-I mean, _Christ_, M-Morty, w-w-w-would it _kill_ ya to be a goddamn Morty f-for once in your—in your—"

Rick ran into the dresser nearest the door and groaned. Morty was beside himself trying to figure out what the hell Rick was spouting on about now and was about to get up and help the old man out of his room when Rick seemed to have recovered himself as he finally reached the door, gesticulating angrily.

"I-It's not MY fault I-I'm so—t-that I'm such a…" Rick stopped in the doorway suddenly with his back to Morty and lay a hand against the frame to steady himself. Morty blinked as he let Rick's words process, almost wanting to hear what Rick had to say.

A few moments passed before a dry, bitter laugh burst from his grandfather.

"Wh-whatever," came the low rough murmur as his other hand tightened on the doorknob.

Morty threw a leg over the edge of the bed. "Rick—" The door slammed making him wince. Then a familiar green glow illuminated the outer edge of his door before it vanished. Morty sank back into his bed, slightly stunned.

The teen sat there for a few minutes before getting up to turn off the lights. He slowly returned to his bed, his mind even now more mixed-up than it was before. He didn't fall asleep for a long time after that, not caring that he had school in just a couple hours. He merely stared up at the ceiling and contemplated what he'd just heard and how it applied to what they just went through.

_I-It's not MY fault I-I'm so—t-that I'm such a…_

Such a…_what_? An asshole? Morty snorted. Most likely. Whatever Rick was about to confess right before he left most likely wasn't of great importance, he concluded. He probably just didn't want to admit that he was clearly at fault for what happens on their adventures most of the time. Even Morty isn't as vain as to say that he personally isn't the one causing the problems on a lot of their adventures. He knows for a fact that he does, but he isn't like Rick. He KNOWS when to take the blame. However, something else that Rick said had him second guessing what their relationship meant.

_Don't neeed you tah—tah be __**me**__, of all people. I-I mean, Christ, M-Morty, w-w-w-would it kill ya to be a goddamn Morty f-for once…_

Morty furrowed his brows. What did he mean by that? Did Rick seriously believe that he was acting just like him? _Him? _Morty wanted to laugh at the irony of it all. NOBODY acted like Rick unless it was another Rick and even then, his grandpa was still the Rickest Rick he'd ever known. So how could he possibly think that he was turning into the sociopathic scientist? It just wasn't possible. Morty shook his head to himself and turned onto his side with his hands resting underneath his head. He exhaled through his nose tiredly as his eyes began to droop.

It shouldn't matter anyway. Rick will always be Rick just as Morty will always be Morty. It's how the multiverse works, and it'll always stay that way as long as there are Ricks and Mortys existing. He and Rick always understood that much. 'A hundred years Rick and Morty' is what Rick occasionally referred it as. A hundred years of fucked up trauma and mindless adventures for them to go on, and a hundred more years of Ricks being Ricks and Mortys being Mortys. For what is Rick without Morty and Morty without Rick?

_A lifetime of loneliness, _was Morty's last solemn thought before sleep at last took him.

* * *

**Aaaaannnddd done! This was a particularly hard chapter for me to write. I tried to keep Rick in character but had some problems when it came to his perspective on Morty killing Splanex and his thoughts to it. Still, I gave it my best shot and am pretty content with how it turned out. Up for suggestions on how to improve on my writing, though, so feel free! :) Had a lot of fun writing this story and hope that you guys enjoyed reading it! Thanks for reading! *trips headfirst into a wood chipper***

**Rick: That's my one-armed man! I'm not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty! That was fake! I-I'm driven by finding that McNugget sauce! **

**Morty: McNuggets?**

**Rick: I want that Mulan McNugget sauce, Morty! That's my series arc, Morty. **

**Morty: What the hell?**

**Rick: If it takes nine seasons, I want my McNugget dipping sauce, Szechuan sauce, Morty! **

**BONUS! **

**Rick: We're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things, Morty. Just you and me, Morty. The outside world in our enemy, Morty. We're the only-BURP!-friends we've got, Morty. It's just Rick and Morty. Rick and Morty and their adventures, Morty. Rick and Morty forever and forever. 100 years, Rick and Morty. Morty's things. Me and Rick and Morty running around and Rick and Morty time. All day long, forever. All a hundred days, Rick and Morty forever 100 times. Over and over . .com. . All 100 years. Every minute, Www. ! **

***Morty moaning and seizing on the floor***


End file.
